Twisting The Pelican

2024-07-01

Every now and then I am reminded that once, completely by accident, I invented an absurdist cliche.

It was early in my time in Texas, and I had not yet been exposed to a particular sexist regional euphemism for making a sudden u-turn. It struck me both as meaningless and crass, and I dismissively responded by saying that it sounded as nonsensical as 'twisting the pelican' to my ears.

Amused by the words, I found myself returning them repeatedly over the years.

It became a bit of canonical party banter amongst my friends. Something unusual would happen, and we'd dramatically wonder aloud if this was at last an example of the phrase being used correctly.

Looking back, it seems inevitable that the internet would get a hold of this. A new-to-the-game acquaintance overheard us at a party, and on the spot documented the phrase:

TWISTING THE PELICAN

A cliche which by definition has no meaning. Twisting the pelican is the Schrödinger's cat of cliches.

I would give an example of twisting the pelican; however, it doesn't exist.

It's quietly been there ever since.

In the years to come, I truly hope it both remains undefined and baffled a few linguists.